THE RAW STUFF
Okay, this is the raw stuff. No editing (unless I spotted it while writing... which I rarely do). Here you'll find all my dirty, messy, non-sensical words that my brain threw out, written down pretty much fresh from brain to page. Scary!
It's likely that things will look markedly different by the time I'm ready to publish.
I should warn those with more refined sensibilities that I generally don't do four-letter words or overly graphic stuff, but sometimes it drops out of my brain that way. This is unedited so I haven't polished my characters up and made them presentable for the general public so they may say or do things that aren't that nice.
For what it's worth... enjoy 😅.
PS - I should probably add SPOILER ALERT!!
We meet our hero who has a rather disturbing vision. (For the eagle eyes out there, this is a version without the four letter words. My mother didn't like them 😬 and we should always keep our mothers happy.)
Chapter 2 - New
Chapter 2 (now 3)
Sorry - I've changed Andrew's name to Bastion. He goes down the stairs and finds something unexpected. Think I'll need to work on tightening up the description here as not sure it paints enough of a picture.
Bastion is struggling with what his father told him. It was all a bit much. We meet his best friend Myra. I think I'll need to rewrite her into chapter 1, because I don't know who those guys were. A pretty short chapter here. The point is to kinda show him not really accepting what his father was telling him, but still wanting answers.
It's time we saw a bit more of mum, so Bastion goes to visit her to see if he can get anything out of her. I enjoyed writing this - insane asylums are always interesting places to read, or watch about. But, think I still need to add some detail in this one.
Alex wakes up in the witch's lair. I might need to flesh this out a little more, really pull on the pathos. It's also where we see that Alex is a Solarii herself, though she knows nothing about what she is.
Bastion and Myra have a little bit of a heart to heart. I think I struggle with these types of scenes. I'll need to dig a little deeper into the purpose of this scene and what I am trying to create between these two characters. In terms of story structure, it was supposed to get Bastion to not run away from who/what he is and turn back to it. The 'acceptance' moment... or something like it.
This is a follow-on from the previous chapter, cementing for Bastion that he really can't just walk away from this. He needs to do something. He had another vision, and sees another child killed. However, this time something happens and the witch becomes aware of his presence. Bastion decides he needs to do something. I need to flesh out the imagery a bit, and work on the description of the stuff bubbling away in the pot and the reaction it has on Bastion.
This is the learning about the magic scene. The writing is a bit clunky here and you can tell that I haven't fully thought some of this through. So, it will need a bit of tightening. Bastion also tells his father about the headaches and visions and we learn that this ain't normal.
(Everything here is copyright to Jared Viljoen. Which means, if you steal stuff the interweb goblins will come looking for you and trust me, you don't want that.)